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タンポポ
これは花ですか？＾ー＾
I love dandelions.
Sometimes, I wish there were bigger species of them here in Singapore :-) When I was in Korea, I felt bad, everything just felt bad, but it wasn't meant to be that way. It was a dream come true, it truly was. I loved everything there. But I didn't enjoy myself one single bit and when I saw this beautiful dandelion at the side of the hedge, I felt like trampling on it. But I knew I would never bear to do that. I bent down, took in a deep breath and blew~~
Everything bad just seemed to drift off with the wisps of florets. Watching them dancing and somersaulting in the air, that made me happy :-) Still, I will never forget those eight days of my life, when every single day, I had to force myself to resist and bottle up every single tear and I thought that that was as much horrible as giving a plastic smile :-)
But I guess the only thing one can do is to change the future instead of brooding over the past. We can only move on in life because we can never rewind time and restart all over again.
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Walked home with my dear friend Hanee today ^-^ I'm so glad we've buried that small little hatchet and I truly hope she's forgotten about the whole matter, and so has Sinyi.. Anyways, it was extremely L----O----L and we laughed all the way until we parted. I don't think we'll run out of things to laugh at won't we? :-) The school hasn't informed us of our end-of-year examination dates yet so there I'm not feeling stressed and anxious just yet, not a single bit :-) AND I like this feeling 8-D I wish I could run home immediately after school and laze around at home or hang out with my weird friends with no deadlines, no priorities and no nothing.
I love my friends. I hate pretense, who doesn't? But I've learnt to accept it, I guess it's part and parcel of living in society. No man is an island, but if I could, I wish I could be an island.
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Everyone tells me I'm weird. I laugh out loud when I want to and I often give weird expressions when I cannot react, I also give you a kind of black face if you disgust me, I give all sorts of faces to people of all sorts, faces that even call for a beating. I know many people are rather intimidated by me and I am rather unwilling to put on an act, smiling, sharing and laughing when I don't see the need to. I do not like flirting and trying to speak and act in a certain way so someone will like me. I do not like trying to be a sophisticated and glamorous high school it girl. Therefore I laugh my head off whenever I feel like it and I ignore jokes when I don't think they're funny. Low EQ you say? :-) I do not think I'm weird at all. I think people who pretend are weirder, do you even know who the real you really is? I was once like every one of you, pretending from the moment I step out of my house and when I got home, I felt disgusted and horrible. But, I guess some people really do enjoy doing things to win the favour and hearts of everyone :-) But I see through it all :-)
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Today morning was great. I love rainy mornings :-) The air always seems exceptionally cool and fresh and the smell of rain makes it even more pleasant :-) I like the smell of certain things, such as my hair and clothes, textbooks and cleanly printed paper. However, I dislike certain smells such as deodorants, perfumes, colognes and any vapour designed to make one smell nice, how ironic it is because they actually make you smell like poo. This morning, the pungent smell of a woman's perfume actually provoked a sneeze. I also dislike fumes from cigarettes and vehicles and burning because they choke my lungs
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-Terry, Jerry and Reely are substitute names-
I miss some of my old friends now and then. Even though it has been ages since I've spoken to Terry, I really do reminisce the times we spent together, dancing, chatting and all kinds of girl stuff. Once, she called me and told me all about her problems, she was crying and that totally drove me to the verge of tears. I'm not sure if Reely went with me to her house after our project but everything was alright after that. That day, I felt something precious called 'friendship'. It was like someone actually thought of you in one of their desperate moments and knew you would be there for them, it was friendship. Another time, I felt so distressed about my friendship with Jerry, I ran away to a corner, crying. Jerry probably saw me, but I guess she was busy talking to guys. And guess what, Reely followed me all the way. We sat down on the curb somewhere behind the computer labs and as I poured out my troubles to her, she gave me advice and comfort. What was heartening was the fact that Reely was actually trying to make amendments for our broken friendship in the past. Reely if you're seeing this: You're an awesome friend, really, putting in effort to salvage something precious I neglected in the past. Do enjoy your life overseas because Terry, Noelle and I will be waiting for your return even though the three of us will never be what we used to be anymore.
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I'll be rushing off to church now since I haven't packed my luggage, have a fine day ahead ^-^
xxx
Angela B.
